Followers

kuch kahi kuch ankahi si ye zindagi ki kahani hain, kuch shabdo se bani to kuch khamoshi se buni ye dhadkano ki jubaani hain, Sirf meri ya tumhari nahi, ye har kisi ki kahaani hai........

Saturday, November 22, 2008


"Whenever I feel happy, I get scared. Because I know, something will make me unhappy again very soon." So much for optimisim.

I can almost relate to this feeling of "happy despair". Somehow, that's how I feel most of the times. It's as if I'm not supposed to feel too happy for fear that the sadness which follows would engulf my entire being and rob all traces of joy in me.

I guess you can liken it to Pavlov's Classical Conditioning Theory. If every happy event is followed by a miserable one, in time to come, one will be conditioned to believe that there would be a depressing occurrence each time one experiences bliss.

Totally warped isn't it?

There's one other thing about this concept called happiness. one day, someone suddenly made a philosophical statement.

He said, "You cannot pursue or seek happiness. What one usually does is to go after things that will make them happy.

So, what you call happiness is getting what you want, achievement or success, becoming noble, getting anything that you want. As long as you want something and you can get it, you feel perfectly happy; you are not frustrated, but if you cannot get what you want, then unhappiness begins."

"Happiness is like a cloud. If you stare at it long enough, it evaporates."
- Sarah McLachlan

I AM: Suman da Great
I WANT: "World Peace"
I WISH: That everything I wish for will come true
I HATE: Hypocrisy
I MISS: My childhood
I FEAR: Myself
I HEAR: Good stuff about me
I WONDER: If I got to fulfill my dreams
I REGRET: So many things
I AM NOT: A destiny child
I DANCE: Sorry i cant, but wud love to learn someday
I SING: Depends on mood
I WEEP: Often
I AM NOT ALWAYS: Happy
I WRITE: Because I can, and because I love to
I CONFUSE: Whenver I cannot Convince
I NEED: Lots of love and happiness
I SHOULD: Keep positivity always
I START: Something
I FINISH: Nothing
I LOVE: ALL who love me
I REMEMBER: ALL who don't

I TAG: Whoever who laid eyes on this.

I may be cold - but I am not heartless.
I may be stubborn - but I am not unreasonable.
I may be nice - but I am no walkover.
I may be cynical - but I am hopeful.
I may be strong - but I'm not invincible
.

Maturity Demystified

Someone asked me to explain what maturity means, and the qualities one should possess to be seen as a mature individual.
Frankly, it's not the question that got me stumped. It's who he posed that question to that almost made me tumble off my swivelling chair.


Look at me. I am the last person you would ask about maturity - seriously. I have irrational mood swings. I am freakingly emotional. I have that occasional but sudden passionate outbursts. I can be rash and impetuous. And I am a li'l girl trapped in an aging, decaying, horizontally expanding and vertically challenged body.



Ok ok. I shouldn't make excuses for myself. Since you've asked - my dear friend, so you shall receive. My concept of maturity may be warped, so please take what I blog here with a huge spoonful of salt.


Maturity - to me - is a mindset, which in turn will translate into observable behavioural patterns, and materializing in several forms such as responses, reactions, actions and speech. It is a state of the mind.


Simply put, maturity comes from within. It is often determined by oneself, but defined by others.


For example, I may feel that I'm mature because I have been through a lot in life and accumulated pain and experience along the way to emphatize and offer solid advice. I may be mature in handling work issues and politics. I'm less emotional when it comes to focusing on my goals and pursuing my dreams. My head sits tightly screwed on my shoulders when I'm depended upon to offer solutions to critical problems. I do not falter in the face of challenge and never give up when things do not go my way. My sensible and responsible nature reflect the mature me in the eyes of my friends.


On the flipside of the coin, I could also seem immature during the times I throw my tantrums, sulk or exhibit a ridiculously unreasonable behaviour, or any of the other actions I've listed in the earlier paragraphs.


Many could not resist equating age to maturity. After spending some three decades struggling in the real world, I discovered a number of older people I've encountered in the days of my life, work, school and social network are quite a distance from the nirvana state of maturity.


You cannot imagine the childish words that sprung forth from their mouths when they are angry or upset. You can hardly believe your eyes when they react mindlessly to protect their egos or pride. You cannot help laughing at the few who resort to juvenile acts for personal gains.


I don't have to go really far to prove my point. Look around you at the heads of state who fell out of favour with their people; men with graying hair in the likes of Osama bin Laden; historical figures in power who committed some of the world's gravest mistakes. Maturity seems to elude them too, isn't it?


I can't tell for sure what qualities you really need to be deem a mature person. In my humble and baseless opinion, I would think that he would be objective, calm, reasonable, and righteous (morally sound, that is). He would have the ability to differentiate right from wrong, truth from fiction, good from evil. He takes no sides, spreads no gossips, bears no grudges and exacts no vengeance.


I guess whenever I'm on the verge of veering towards the immaturity complex, I can always go back to that one reference who embodies "maturity" in every aspect of his behaviour and thought.


Think God.


One really effective way is to infuse these 4 letters in each and every part of your life - WWGD.

What Would God Do?


"Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values." ~ Joshua Loth Liebma

I came across an article recently which asked these interesting questions:

1. What would you do if you know that whatever you do, there will be absolutely no chance of failure?

2. What kind of challenges/risk would you take on knowing that the element of judgement is removed?

3. What is stopping you from pursuing this goal right now?

The fear of failure, as you can see, is an overwhelming force. It paralyses you - and hinders you from reaching your potential. It stops you from reaching from your dream. Most of all, it compromises who you are - so that you left with "who you could have been".

Now - they even have a name for this condition. Atychiphobia.

Would the fear of failure lead to more failures? Because missed opportunities may not come by again. Because the consequences of not taking the leap of faith may outweigh whatever you are trying to save yourself from. Because you only live once.

No one describes this state of mind better than Alexander Sergeievich Pushkin:

I've lived to bury my desires,
And see my dreams corrode with rust;
Now all that's left are fruitless fires
That burn my empty heart to dust

people will always fail u....and that's a fact.


I am surrounded by quitters. It's so disheartening that I can't even bring myself to talk about it.
I am not one to quit easily. I always believe that as long as we keep trying - things will work out the way we want it to. Having faith is so important - but I am slowly losing it. It's hard to cling on to faith when everyone seems to have no qualms hacking it away from you with their negativity and bitterness.

Can't help feeling defeated. And sad. I have never felt this sad for a long time. And the feeling of sadness - feels like a disease that eats away at your heart, bit by bit, until it finally stops beating and begins to rot and fester.

God am I tired.

Friday, November 21, 2008


What Your Soul Really Looks Like


You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget.
You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. Your feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.
Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now.
For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.


Inside the Room of Your Soul


You are very outgoing but not well connected to many people.
Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others.
You are alone, and you do best in the company of others.
You are not incredibly expressive, and
people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.



Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women like to be a man's last romance. ~ Oscar Wilde


We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. ~ Tim Robbins

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. ~ Mother Teresa

"A man's face is his autobiography.
A woman's face is her work of fiction." ~ Oscar Wilde

“Live life so completely that when death comes to you like a thief in the night, there will be nothing left for him to steal.”

“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.” ~ Theodore Isaac Rubin


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME


one year older
one year none the wiser
forget the candles
scrap the cake
less is more, remember?

from girl to woman
like a flower blossomed
what's innocence
where I'm from
it's literally non-existent

so it's another year
another day
another reminder
oh, come what may

so much love today
i feel faint
greetings poured in
like summer rain

well my friends
thank you for everything
life's been great
absolutely divine
almost heavenly
so just for today
happy birthday
to me

What Time of Day Are You?

You are 10:02 a.m.

You are breakfasty, like a pile of pancakes on a Sunday morning that have just the right amount of syrup, so every bite is sweet perfection and not a soppy mess. You are a glass of orange juice that's cool, refreshing, and not overly pulpy.

You are the time of day that's just right for turning the pages of a newspaper, flipping through channels, or clicking around online to get a sense of how the world changed during the night. You don't want to stumble sleepily through life, so you make a real effort to wake your brain up and get it thinking.

You feel inspired to accomplish things (whether it's checking something off your to-do list or changing the world), but there's plenty of time for making things happen later in the day. First, pancakes.

I feel delicious already....

RAINY DAYS

Geez. Haven't been caught in the rain for a while. I remember when I was younger, I used to like walking in the rain. Love the feel of wind through my hair, the cold drops splattering on my skin, and feel my clothes soaking wet. I love the melodius taps it makes on my window panes.

Walking in the rain is really an intoxicating experience. Feels like a cleansing moment - where all your burdens are washed away from head to toe. But that was before - when I was still idealistic about the world - and full of hopes about my life.

These days, the rain makes me thoughtful. I still love the sound of the rain, and it gives me the calming effect, as always. However, the mood seems to be more melancholic lately. Maybe it's because I am growing older.

I was coming from market and decided to take a cab home. Saw threatening streaks of lightning flashing across the sky. Looked ominous...

There I was walking towards the taxi stand. And then the rain came - hard and relentless. It sliced through my skin - like icy blades. In just 10 seconds, I was completely drenched. I felt as if I have just escaped from the tsunami - my hair, clothes, bag and shoes were thoroughly wet. Felt very much like a squid.

Shivered all the way home when I was in the cab. I was too cold to utter any words, so I just hugged myself to keep warm. Felt really feverish after my bath. But strangely, the fever could not get me to sleep. So I decided to blog about the rain, something that I love very much even till today. It may not elicit the beautiful moods that I used to feel before, but it still is one of my favourite things in life.

I am a victim of my own love...as always.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


"Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul." ~ Anonymous

an optimist stays up late until midnight to see the new year in.

a pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.


me?


i stay up late because i couldn't sleep. as always.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it?

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you.

They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.” – Neil Gaiman


That's Neil Gaiman for you. I personally don't think he hates love. He probably hates all the hurt, pain, discomfort, agony and vulnerability that come packaged with LOVE - without a life-time love/time/money-back guarantee. In economic terms, LOVE would most possibly be a significant high-liability investment with zero returns.

Gaiman probably knows more about love than anyone else - to be able to describe it so perfectly and aptly.

After reading that passage, I realised I "hate" love too. But no matter how hard I try, I may cannot help falling in it. If someday it comes my way. It is what makes us - complete. I'm sure everyone needs it just as much, no matter how much they claim to 'hate' it. To say you don't need love, is as good as saying you can survive without air.

I've read somewhere that men are created with an innate need to be with someone. And that's why we are constantly searching for that person - instinctively, subconsciously, unknowingly, unwittingly - throughout our lives.

Someone once said,"To love someone is nothing; to be loved by someone is something; but to be loved by the one you love - is everything."

What do you think?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


What Is My Inner Age?
You are a SWEET TEEN!!!

Yes you are a teenager from 13 - 19. Quite a little rebel haha... just kidding!

You think as a teenager, you see everything quite simple, but soon you will realize it is not that simple. In my opinion you look at things in a very beautiful way. =)

What is your inner age?

I MISS U

Three simple words.

I have never realised how poignant each of these words are - and how beautiful they sound when they come together.

Until now.

Profound in its simplicity indeed.

The 3 little words mean - at a particular point in time, someone actually stopped whatever he/she has been doing, and took a special moment to savour your presence in his/her heart.

The thought may be fleeting like a comet, but it leaves a sensational trail.

And knowing that you have just been on someone's mind, at a unique moment in time, is exceptionally touching.

Thank you for thinking about me.

I miss you too.

THE SECRET OF THE LAW OF ATTRACTION!

"Everything that is coming into your life you are attracting . . . by virtue of the images you are holding in your mind."

"You are the most powerful transmission tower in the Universe. Your transmission creates your life and it creates the world . . . . And you are transmitting that frequency with your thoughts."

First, science has shown us that we ignore almost all of the sensory input we receive. Our minds focus on a small percentage of what's considered relevant through something called the reticular activating system. Change what you focus on, and you notice things for the first time that have been there all the time. That's one reason why envisioning what you want works: You notice helpful resources around you that you've been ignoring. That observation, however, has never been tied to any evidence (to my knowledge) that we physically create anything with our minds beyond our own bodies, except by manipulating the physical world in various ways.

Think certain thoughts and your immune system is stronger. Think other thoughts and your immune system is weaker.

Mujh Ko Pehchaan Lo Main Hoon Kaun?

The boy who became Shah Rukh Khan

Master Shah Rukh Khan's "Sword of Honor" certificate from his school, which says, "Awarded to a student of Class 12 for all round performance, loyalty, obedience, integrity and sportsmanship". My favorite picture is the bottom right corner where it seems he used to over-act even in those days...he he (ok ok all you SRK fans, don't kill me)

No, this is not a movie review of Don. This is about Shah Rukh Khan, the most recognized face on this earth. The Delhi boy who came to Mumbai to own it and now rules the world. An achiever, who may not be the best talent in the country but sure knows how to make Aunties all around the world drool over him. SRK started his career from small screen. The dabba where I became his fan right from Fauji to Circus. The same idiot box that has revived the career of Mr. Amitabh Bachchan. Anyways, this post is not about any of the above mentioned snippets. It is about SRK though. It is estimated that about 3.5 billion people recognize SRK compared to 2 billion who recognize Tom Cruise. My Question is: Can you recognize him? ha ha ha



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Nothing to describe.... A girl with thousand faults 🙅